FDs
by Nanomemes
Summary: Benimaru plays danger footsies with Yagami. [COMPLETE]
1. Bimbo

_NOV 90 $MU_

 _DEC 15 $SNAP_

 _yolo calls btches kek. get those FDs._

* * *

New York didn't get exceptionally hot in the summer. The atlantic breeze whistled through the buildings and mitigated the heat of the day. It had rained earlier. The sun was dipping below the horizon, casting faint orange light through the dark evening clouds. The streetlamps had turned on, and the sidewalks were still stained with moisture as Benimaru traversed the city.

Several people turned to stare at him as he passed. A car honked at him. It was a limousine full of socialite women. They blushed and giggled when he turned to look at them.

… _nah…_

Benimaru adjusted the collar of his button-down wool coat, then continued walking. He was dressed stylishly. He always was. His agents made sure of that. Besides, he wouldn't be caught dead in anything _normal_ people would wear. He was Benimaru Nikaido, the heir to enormous wealth, the possessor of enormous beauty, the wielder of enormous power.

… _relatively enormous. Heh, enough to whoop ass… until the quarterfinals- but whatever._

The New York KOF tournaments would begin soon. He had decided he'd walk from his Manhattan hotel to the opening day party's location. Of course, he was arriving fashionably late. Arriving on time or - god help you - _early_ gave off the impression you were desperate. _Honestly, It should just be a crime…_

Benimaru didn't remember who was sponsoring the Tourneys this year - probably a technology conglomerate. The dot com sector had been outperforming expectations recently and had cash to play with… and what better way to play, then sponsor the most brutal televised sport in history?

 _The masses sure like their violence… bunch of pheasants. Savages._

Benimaru watched the savages walk past as he strode down the street. The cool breeze played through his long blonde hair. It flowed around delicate, high cheekbones, and framed his face. He briefly stopped to examine his long eyelashes in the mirrored glass panel of a building. He flashed himself a smile before he continued on.

 _10/10!_

He looked good.

He always did. He had poured a lot of time and effort into his appearance, and - needless to say, it had been a great investment. He knew he was gorgeous, so did everyone else… He just wished a certain _someone_ would hurry up and acknowledge it.

… _so annoying_

Unfortunately, that certain someone had an ugly little girlfriend, who, for whatever reason, he remained unmovingly loyal to… _little bitch._

Benimaru dipped his head and sighed. He was used to getting what he wanted. Ever since he was young, everything was given to him. Nobody denied the Nikaido heir for fear of his _electrifying_ tantrums. Even now, he was the same.

So when he didn't get Kyo Kusanagi - he threw a tantrum. He set vengeful eyes on the _ugly little girlfriend_ \- the root of his troubles. He would steal her away, cause her to become unfaithful, then _surely_ Kyo would leave her… right?

It didn't matter. It didn't work.

Yuki Kushinada wouldn't even glance at him. She politely turned him down at every turn. She blocked his cell, she blocked his social media accounts. She ignored him. Ignored _him!_ She ignored Benimaru Nikaido?! How dare she!

So he threw another tantrum. He mobilized his following. He wound them up and sent them after her. Benimaru knew words could hurt more than bullets. The bitch would break down in a few hours. All would be settled.

But, before the plan came to fruition, _Iori Yagami_ came calling.

… and as with everything, once Japan's favorite screeching psychopath showed up, everything else shut down.

A single 5 minute phone call ended Benimaru's two-year long _love_ crusade. But not only that - Iori really had it out for him. The man had _ordered_ him, like _an employee_ , to publicly fix Kushinada's reputation. Benimaru had been absolutely mortified. He didn't leave his penthouse for a week.

 _Bastard definitely had a motive… yeah. He's after Kyo too. I'm sure of it!_

There had always been rumors floating about. A longstanding, and rather funny, one claimed ' _Iori Yagami is only chasing Kyo around because he wants to fuck him.'_ The gossip was brought to their attention during a post-tourney press conference several years ago. They laughed so hard that Kyo started crying and Iori began coughing up a dangerous amount of blood. He had split his stitches and had to be shipped back to the hospital.

The rumor became something of an inside joke… Iori had his laugh, then tried his best to forgot about it. On the other hand, Kyo was intent on keeping the rumor alive and spent a lot of time saying questionable things to reporters.

It had been a huge, fun, stupid mess… until Iori had nearly killed his rival during a Blood Riot.

After that incident, there wasn't even a hint of tolerance or camaraderie between them. Whenever they were scheduled to fight, the front-row seats were designated to the local fire department and medical personnel. Those battles were among the most vicious ever televised. They had fought like crazed demons.

Amusing theories and rumors were hastily slain and buried in the face of such raw, hateful brutality.

… _so what happened between them? Are they friends again? I heard they were together in SouthTown during that crazy thing last summer… wait, but why does Yagami care about Yuki? Why did he bother calling me?!_

How did Iori know about Benimaru's _love_ quest? There was no way he kept tabs on Yuki's social media. The man hardly knew how to use twitter and regularly flooded his feed with pictures of his own forehead. Idiot didn't even know he was embarrassing himself… so how?

 _Somehow he's been keeping track of me… He must be! Is he faking his whole social media thing to catch me unawares? He IS obsessive… no. The rumor was actually true!… Yagami's scared I'll steal Kyo away from him! That's it! He thinks I'm competition!_

Benimaru exhaled sharply as the rounded the corner. He needed to _convince_ Iori to forget about Kyo. To give up on him… _But how?_ Normally dealing with people was easy. He could either threaten them with his incredible electric powers, or throw money at them until they did his bidding.

Unfortunately, neither of these methods would work on Iori Yagami. Firstly, the man could deep-fry him without lifting a finger. The only people who could put up a _real_ fight against Yagami were: Kyo, K' and … probably Kula. Secondly, Iori was _quite_ wealthy. It wasn't even his family's money either. He just happened to be a ridiculously good musician and got paid absurd amounts of money to scream into a microphone. Additionally, he hardly spent anything and was hopelessly unreasonable. He was essentially bribe-proof.

The only tool Benimaru had left was his brain.

He was smart.

Of course he was, he was Benimaru Nikaido! In all of his private lessons, he always scored full marks. Besides, Kyo had never finished High School, and even _he_ thought Iori was an idiot. For someone who had spent his childhood under the tutelage of the best teachers money could buy, outsmarting that _red-headed bimbo_ would be a cakewalk.

 _Yeah… I just need to collect some info, then I can orchestrate another master-plan! Yagami thought he knocked me out of the ring with that social media stunt of his… but I'll get him back! And I'll make him look bad in front of Kyo too!_

Benimaru realized he was smiling too widely and quickly reverted to a neutral expression for fear of wrinkles. The new, exorbitantly expensive, seaweed cream he was testing promised to erase this problem from his life, but it was better to be safe. Despite his resolution, he couldn't keep a straight face. A small, wicked smile turned the corners of his mouth.

 _I'm coming for revenge Yagami! Get ready!_

* * *

 _This is the Autistic version of "The Mastermind"_

 _Benny vs Chiz. REEEE_

 _This story is sandwiched between 2 other (short) stories. Guess which ones kek._

 _I'll prob tell u if you ask tho._

 _Should I tag romance for keks? I think I should._

 _Benimaru is gey bois_


	2. Manbun

_Stick around to learn about Options._

 _Nanoclass, yeet._

* * *

 _Half an hour late… right on time._

Benimaru Nikaido rolled his shoulders as a butler took his coat from him.

He slipped the butler a twenty as he stepped into the Baccarat's grand lobby. The hotel's decor was sharp, modern, and clearly high-class. Crystal chandeliers hung in groups from the ceiling, illuminating the long hall with sparkling faceted light. A live jazz band played at the end of the hall. Waiters scurried about with trays full of champange and pastries. The sounds of gentle piano and deep cello intermingled with low chatter and the clinking of drinks.

The amicable atmosphere was interrupted by the loud clacking of Benimaru's shoes on the dark marble floors. He had his loafers custom made with tap-dancing soles in order to attract the maximum amount of attention. Naturally his plan, as with all his plans, worked. He suppressed a triumphant smirk as he drew gazes. Nearly all the stares belonged to annoyed patrons, but Benimaru was convinced they only glared at him because they were jealous.

 _Of course they're jealous. I'm showcasing full Gucci tonight. Heh, honestly I can make anything look good. I just need to look at least ten times better then Yagami. If he's dressed how he normally is then I'll definitely win. Kyo's mine._

Benimaru strutted down the length of the hallway, absorbing the attention, before stopping to pluck a glass of alcohol from a waitress. He looked around, searching for the object is his affections… _oh, and Goro too._

Were Kyo and Daimon here yet? The last time Benimaru had seen them, they were wandering the streets of New York. Benimaru had recommended they hop on a touring bus to see the city, but his teammates had refused, claiming they wanted to walk the streets. _Walk the streets? The streets?! Ridiculous! You're above that Kyo. I can show you a better time…_

The very fact Kyo and Daimon spoke no English and were first-time visitors to the city meant they were guaranteed to get lost within ten minutes- not that they seemed to mind. They'd spent the entire day in miscellaneous tourists traps, happily purchasing junky 'I LOVE NEW YORK' t-shirts and gorging on soft pretzels, hot dogs and funnel cakes. _Street food… trash…_

Benimaru had only accompanied them for an hour or so before he called quits. He just couldn't handle the unpleasantness of the unwashed masses. Besides, he was only there to spend time with Kyo, but Daimon constantly interrupted any of his advances and Kyo wasn't paying attention. Japan Team's captain seemed more concerned about learning the correct pronunciation of 'Manhattan' from a group of local elementary schoolers than talking to him. After a solid twenty minutes, he bought them all deep-fried oreos for their troubles and began reciting ' _I lurve Mahahan'_ to every confused pedestrian he could find.

 _I could have taught you better… If you wanted to know, why didn't you ask me!_

The fact Kyo hadn't asked Benimaru to tutor him caused the blonde man great distress. Kyo knew he was half-American, and everyone knew he spoke English fluently! There was no reason to ask some shitty little kids. Absolutely none.

 _Somehow Yagami must be causing this… Did… did he already sink his claws into him? There's no way Kyo's interested… they DID spend a lot of time together though… ugh._

Benimaru sighed and cast the thoughts from his mind. He shouldn't think too hard. He didn't want any lines on his forehead. He placed the empty champagne glass down on a nearby counter and made his way toward the bar for something stronger.

* * *

 _Just stop fucking playing. You're making me want to claw my own ears off! Fuck!_

Iori Yagami scowled down at his drink and tried as hard as he could to turn his ears off. The cello was playing at 60. The piano was banging away at 62. The saxophone was honking at 61. The bass didn't know what he was doing. If it was his own band, he'd probably die of shame.

 _Should I go take over for the bassist? Shit… I swear it actually hurts._

He sighed and rested his forehead against the bar counter, next to four empty shot glasses and three filled ones. He tugged at his tie and briefly considered using it to strangle the pianist. Mature had decided they were all going to compete in fashion this year, and crammed him into a suit. She had gone on for hours about how ' _it's simply unacceptable, my dear, to go on TV dressed so poorly_ ', and ' _Yagami! For the love of all things good, you need to maintain your eyebrows! Come here, let me pluck them for you! Hey! Sit down!_ '.

Thankfully, Mature wasn't here, else she'd constantly be trying to fix his collar. Instead of pestering him, she had decided to borrow one of his credit cards to carouse about New York's shopping district. Normally Iori had zero tolerance for being fretted over, but he felt bad about killing Mature, so he let her do what she liked until she disappeared for another year.

 _I dress fine for tournaments… she should have seen me during that one awards ceremony… heh… she'll be horrified. I think I have a picture…_

He lifted his head off the counter, downed another shot of vodka, and produced his cellphone. The alcohol was, thankfully, starting to affect him. His brain became hazy enough that it stopped measuring the time signatures of the jazz band. The music began sounding less cacophonous and improved his mood significantly. He took another shot in celebration and continued scrolling through his pictures.

… _where… Ah! I ruined my clothes before the awards ceremony so I borrowed the secretary's yoga outfit… it was so tight I could hardly breathe. Hehe, I'll send it to Mature… Maybe to Kagura too - just to get a reaction._

Iori mailed off a photo of himself wearing a set of yoga pants, a crop top, a unicorn-style topknot, and a devilish grin. The picture was actually a screenshot of a news article, which had captioned the image ' _Has he finally gone crazy? The most shocking outfit at the ABC Music Awards.'_

He finished his last glass, then waved the bartender over for a refill. The gentlemen looked like he was about to refuse to let him drink anymore - the realized who he was, and decided it wasn't worth arguing. Although Iori did a good amount of drinking, his alcohol tolerance wasn't high at all. Perhaps something to do with Orochi blood? He didn't know. What he did know was even Mai could drink him under the table, much less Ralf, Clark… anyone, really.

… _probably can beat… Yuri?... maybe…_

Better yet, he did stupid ass things when he drank. He was normally erratic, but it got worse when under the influence. Apparently during last year's pre-tourney party, he had spent the entire time trying to flirt with Brian Battler. Iori couldn't be convinced he was a gay drunk until somebody published a photo of him, sobbing, and clinging to the embarrassed footballer's arm.

 _Cut him down fast the next morning… first fight … of the day… I wonder if he's here?_

There was a screech as a barstool was pulled from beside him. Iori turned to look. It was a pretty blonde girl who looked somewhat familiar, but he couldn't attach a name to the face. She sat down, ordered a margarita, and glowered at him.

 _Oh… maybe she's angry about Battler… she must… be his girlfriend..._

"You're a… football fan… ar-aren't you?"

" _What?_ "

Oh wow, she had a man's voice. Hot.

* * *

 _Let's do some finance shit doods: ready?_

 _BEGIN ECON SHIT_

 _*_ Consider betting on a horse race. Some horses are slower than other horses, have certain track records etc... so as a result, betting on the horse that is MOST likely to win will have smaller winnings, then betting on the horse LEAST likely to win. ie) if horse A = 99% chance to win, you may turn your 99$ bet into a winnings of 100$; but if Horse B = 1% chance to win and wins, you can turn 1$ bet into winnings of 100$.

Options are similar, except instead of betting on a horse race, you're betting on the stock price. You can bet up, or down. So, if you think the price will increase, you buy a call option; or Sell put options (you make a certain amount of money from premium, which is more or less expensive depending on how likely the stock will reach the strike price). If you think the price will decrease, you sell call options or buy put options.

Consider this option; Jan 1000 $GOOGL Call; this means, the option is only effective until January. The stock you're betting on is $GOOGL (Google). You bought a Call, so if the stock price increses to 1200; the poor sucker who sold you the option contract has to pay you 1200-1000, 200$. On the other hand, if the price remains under 1000 all through january, you make zero money, and the guy who sold you the option will make the premium you paid him to enter into the contract.

You don't even have to bet on stock prices! You can even buy options on like, the weather lol. it's crazy.

END ECON SHIT

 _TLDR- Options are like lottery tickets for rich people_

 _Drunk Yag vs Beni; who win?_

 _Commetn and subscrib pls_


	3. French Baguette

_I've gone off the deep end..._

 _I need rehab._

 _Can we get some Brian Battler cameo in this? Yag+Brian. new OTP? KEK._

* * *

The hotel's bar had a classic feel to it.

The countertop was a single piece of smooth, jet-black granite. It extended nearly twenty feet in a U-shape around a backlit cabinet housing hundreds of bottles. The bar stools were lined in black leather and most were filled by small groups of people. There was a hint of Columbian cigar in the air. Slow jazz flowed over from the lobby. The clinking of glass and the occasional sound of pouring liquid gave the room a relaxed feel.

"I swear tha- … didn't mean to?"

Despite the atmosphere, Benimaru _wasn't_ relaxed. The moment he stepped into the bar, he caught sight of a familiar flash of red hair. _Iori Yagami._ At first, he froze, not knowing what to do. He hadn't anticipated catching Iori alone so soon and hadn't yet formed a plan of attack.

However, despite his momentary misgivings, he steeled his resolve and decided this was a good opportunity to gather information. Normally, Iori was terse and didn't speak much. Hopefully a bit of alcohol would loosen him up. Besides, Benimaru need to find out just how far Iori and Kyo's relationship went. If he was going to develop a scheme, he needed all the information he could get.

"... Your b-boyfriend... "

Unfortunately, when Benimaru took a seat beside his adversary, Iori was completely drunk and immediately began rambling. He was going on about American football, and… _wait_ _what?_

"My boyfri- What are you talking about?"

"I dunno… uh… the guy! The guy!"

With a huff, Iori leaned back into the chair and began gesturing in a vague throwing motion. Benimaru couldn't help but notice he was wearing a clean-cut suit and a dark red tie. Usually, Iori dressed so badly it pissed people off. Whatever natural suaveness he possessed was masked by awful hair, horrible attire, and a shitty attitude.

But today, somebody had strapped him down, trimmed his eyebrows, gelled his hair, and forced him into a suit. It looked custom tailored and perfectly accented long legs and broad shoulders. Iori's brow was furrowed as he unsuccessfully picked his brain for the name of Benimaru's ' _boyfriend'_. His lips were pressed together and dark eyes flashed back and forth from beneath heavy eyelashes. Long, bright red bangs had been styled to fall over half his face. He was dead drunk, but still managed to retain an intimidating air. He looked less than happy, but by hell did he look _good._

 _Stop! Stop Benny… those are bad thoughts… bad, bad thoughts!_

Looking at Iori was making Benimaru nervous, and _not_ just because the redhead was putting up strong competition against his Gucci suit. The blonde man gritted his teeth and raised the margarita to his lips. He wasn't going to let himself get distracted. Iori was the enemy… _Just concentrate, eyes on the prize._

"The guy?… It's Kyo, right? I know it is."

"... Kusa...nagi? Are… sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

Satisfied, Iori relaxed and picked up another shot glass. He tossed his head back as he downed its contents, then remained leaned against the backrest, holding the cup in his hand and squinting up at the dim lights in the ceiling. Benimaru stared just a bit too closely at the long tendon that stood out in his neck, and the sharp cut of his jawline.

"Yagami."

That lazy gaze rolled down from the ceiling to focus on him. Dangerous, soulless eyes. Looking at Iori was very different from having Iori look at you. Benimaru felt like he was staring down the barrels of two guns. It made his heart skip a beat. _Concentrate, Benny! Gah!_

"How did you know about Kushinada's social media?"

"Kushina.. Kushi…"

"Were you stalking my facebook?"

With a grunt, Iori turned his gaze away and shifted to lean over the counter. His hands were unsteady as he gingerly placed the shot glass down. It immediately fell over. There was such a look of dismay on his face that Benimaru quickly righted it for him in case he started crying. It was already difficult to understand what Iori was saying, but his slurring would become indecipherable if he started to cry. Additionally, Iori had begun talking to him in English, but was now slipping into Japanese. Benimaru needed to get his answers before Iori threw Spanish into the mix as well.

"How did you know about Yuki?"

"He… he told… Kusanagi…"

Iori began coughing violently into his elbow. The alcohol was irritating his throat and caused his voice to come out raw and husky. Benimaru was becoming annoyed by how nice he sounded. Even his coughing reverberated from deep in his chest and- _Goddammit Benny!_

"... Kaugh… Ahem… told me… Kusanagi broke my… door… really late… Something… about uh… Nikai- Nik… hm…"

Benimaru almost dropped his glass.

Just what was Iori saying? He _hadn't_ figured out Benimaru's plot on his own? Kyo had told him? Did he trust him that much? And worse, if drunk Iori was to be believed, Kyo hadn't just called his rival… he had showed up _unannounced_ at his house. That was ridiculous… it was Impossible… _wait… he was in Southtown when I pulled the social media stunt… and Yagami lives there… no way… no way! This can't be happening!_

*BANG*

Benimaru flinched as Iori slammed his fist into the granite. His brow was dark and he suddenly looked very angry. His eyes blazed and he stared at empty space, his chest rose and fell with the heave of his breath. He snatched up another drink, spilled half on himself, and downed the rest. He glowered at the empty glass in his hand as if he didn't know what to do with it.

"Shates! She… like… two-hundred dolla… fuckin'... _hija de_ … "

The shot glass flared up in bright purple flames. The loud crackle drew the attention of patrons and the unhappy bartender. The glass began melting in his hand, trailing viscously over his fingers and hardening into globs on the granite countertop. Iori frowned at it, then with a crunch, shattered rest of the cup in his fist. He seemed surprised, then leaned over to stare intently at the shards of glass that were now scattered over the table.

Other bar-goers began nervously chuckling and murmured quietly to each other. They shifted in the general direction of the door. The bartender huffed something to himself and began marching over.

 _Shit… we're about to get kicked out…_

Then, Iori bared his gums and started laughing hysterically. The sound was animalistic and terrifying. The bartender stopped in his tracks and almost _ran_ in the other direction. The couple sitting three seats down got up and scurried to a table at the far end of the bar. The whole room cast terrified glances at them.

Normally, Benimaru was quite happy have have all eyes on him… but this situation was a bit different. Drunk Iori did stupid things… but Crazy Iori murdered people. Half of him was screaming at him to get up and slowly back away. The other half was hopelessly attracted to the dangerous thrill that Iori emitted. _This is how you get in trouble! Stop it! Ugh…_

The blonde man placed his drink down with a clack. He'd go soon, he just needed a bit more info. He put on his most authoritative voice and tried to keep his eyes off… everything… _He's the enemy! The enemy! Enemy, enemy, enemy!_

"Yagami. Hey!"

Iori stopped laughing abruptly. In a split second, his expression went from manic and unhinged to somber. He swept the glass shards off the table with his sleeve. They made clinking noises as they bounced on the dark marbled floor. When they finally stopped, Iori pulled his gaze from the ground and fixed it on Benimaru.

"Wha."

Benimaru swirled his margarita and tried to relax under that dark, soulless stare. Iori seemed to understand him well enough despite his speech was getting progressively more difficult to decipher. Right now, they were mostly speaking Japanese, but Benimaru caught a few phrases in Spanish. He didn't know Spanish so he needed to wrap this up.

"Did Kusanagi stay the night at your place?"

 _Please say no…_

"Threw… my sheets… all over the … yes. The night… all night."

 _Dammit!_

Kyo made a mess of his sheets? Bedsheets? What other kinds of sheets were there? Did He show up at Iori's house and hop in bed with him? Just like that? Impossible… _why him? Why is he better than me? They don't even live in the same country!_

Benimaru planted an elbow on the countertop and leaned his forehead against it. Despair was beginning to loom over him. He wanted to go home and cry. Iori didn't lie, and drunk Iori was too dumb to. Everything he was said had to be true. Benimaru already had a good idea of what they had spent the night doing, but he had to ask anyways.

He shut his eyes as he spoke. His voice trembled and threatened to crack.

"Did… you fuck?"

 _Please say no… Please say no…_

There was a significant pause. If Benimaru had been watching, he would've seen the shock and confusion written on Iori's face. The man had clearly misheard the question.

"You wanna fu-… but… wh-what about… "

Benimaru felt himself becoming angry. His patience was running dry. He snapped his eyes open and swiveled his head just in time to watch Iori make more vague throwing motions.

"What about… Your Boyfr- "

"What are you talking about! Just answer the question, Yagami! Good God!"

Iori stared blankly at him.

"... uh … Sure."

"What?! Agh… damn you."

Benimaru groaned and leaned against the backrest to stare at the lights on the ceiling. His world was slowly coming apart. Even if they did nothing that night, the very fact Kyo went to Iori with his problems meant they were close… much closer than Benimaru had anticipated. This was going to be tough. _How do I break them up! Kyo went to Iori to complain about ME! What am I supposed to do about that? Is this it? Maybe I should…_

If Benimaru hadn't been so busy stewing in his own despair, he would've noticed Iori was about to climb into his seat.

 _No… no. I'll never give up on him. Eventually Kyo will see the light. I just have to keep on pressing him. He'll come around… they all do…_

Benimaru closed his eyes and released a long sigh. He was still staring upwards when he spoke. His voice came out tired and resigned. He knew he was going to go home tonight and have himself a nice long cry.

"So did you two fuck or not? Just say yes or n- _mmph!?_ "

Benimaru panicked as his stool was suddenly wrenched around and dipped with additional weight. There was pressure on his chest followed shortly by an arm snaking around his neck to support his head. He tasted vodka and tobacco as lips were forcefully pressed against his. He found himself staring incredulously through a curtain of silky red hair. He was so shocked he nearly bit down on Iori's tongue.

"Hmn!? Mmnn?!"

 _What the actual hell?!_

* * *

 _Yanno, Yag is kinda a moron... like fam... That's not Brian's GF. kek._

 _The events Yagami is drunkenly describing take place in one of my other stories called 'Garbage'. Essentially, all you need to know is Kyo breaks down Yag's front door at 4AM. Throws bby's music sheets around, Rants about Benny, then crashes on the couch despite Yag trying to kick him out. Shates is the landlady, and she made him pay to repair the door. (200$)._

 _bye duds._

 _I luv u all._

 _Don't worry. I mean it i_ _n a completely homosexual way._

 _*3*_


	4. Faggy D's

_Babe... pls..._

 _Every day I stray further from_ (Normal and serious storytelling)

 _Crack all the way. shoot it into my veins boiiis._

 _I hate my life lol. I'm gonna finish this fic and never look at it ever again._

* * *

 _Notes:_

 _* So my Iori has fallen off the deep end of 'non-canon'. He has this voice in his head called Riot - as in 'Blood Riot'. Normally Riot is all murdery, but some events happened (in progress, March of Skelly) and they sorta became friends. So Riot is literally autistic. Like he's so dumb, which makes sense because he's not even a real person. Yag kinda likes him, he's like a talking dog._

 _* Problem is, drunk Yag is even dumber than Riot._

 _* Riot language key. (he speaks in all caps): ORANGE = Kyo; THUNDERBOY = Benimaru; KING = Yag._

* _Honestly, this shit is so contrived, it's hardly worth understanding. Why do i keep doing this? shootmedoitdoit_

* * *

It's really hot in here. I think my collar's too tight. The shot glasses are all lined up, like little soldiers, or chess pieces. Four are filled, four are empty. The light looks really nice bouncing off of them. They're sparkling and-

"Yagami."

...The football girl's talking again? Why is she so mad? She sounds really angry. This is because of her boyfriend, right? I was drunk that time and didn't even mean it! Shit, just let it go already! It's been an entire year since... uh… what the hell was his name? The footballer from the USA sports team that I _apparently_ spent a couple of hours harassing? … shit… Bri-… Brandon was it? No, doesn't sound right. I can't remember.

I heard something in my neck grind when I turned to look at Football girl. The closer I look, the weirder it gets. Her voice is pretty deep. It's a little unsettling actually, but she's really pretty. She smells nice too, and her hair looks soft. Her voice sounded angry, but she actually looks kinda nervous. Her voice is shaking _just_ a little. I think it's cute.

"How did you know about Yuki?"

Haha! She's trying to talk all Authori-... Authoritative-like. Are you trying to boss me around? Nobody bosses me around, you know? Only… uh… Kagura and Mature... sometimes… and Vice. But that's for medical so it doesn't count… and... wait, what's a Yuki?

" _ORANGE"_

What? No! Kusanagi doesn't boss me around! What are you saying, Riot? Shut up! He's my sworn enemy, okay? You're not allowed to be nice to him, and I sure as hell don't-

" _YUKI ORANGE GIRL"_

...uh… Girl? Oh yeah! Yuki! Kyo's girlfriend. What about her? She's really nice, but once she tried to beat me up with her handbag. I think she keeps rocks in there or something… I wonder if it'd make a good weapon. Like a mace! You can just swing it round and round and round and-

"Were you stalking my Facebook or something? How did you find out?"

Football girl's at it again. Her voice is low, but I'm getting used to it. She's dressed a bit strange too. Most of the other girls are wearing dresses, but she's wearing this weird pants outfit. Like a low-cut suit?… hmm… I'd wear it, but I'll probably tie-dye it first. Then it'll be _really_ shocking! Hehe.

"Hey! Are you listening? Dammit Yagami!"

Mature will be so mad at me! … she loves fashion so I always do my best to ruin it for her. I wonder where she is. And where's Vice? I bet she's arm-wrestling with Terry and the other muscle dudes. I don't know why they even bother trying to beat her. She's crazy strong. I can lift… _barely_ 700 with Riot's help. But she picked up the Mustang once and didn't even break her nails! I'm so jealous… Agh… my throat itches.

" _THUNDERBOY"_

What do you want Riot? Can't you see I'm busy? I'm… what am I doing again?

" _THUNDERBOY ORANGE ANGRY"_

Thunderboy? Who's… oh! You mean Benimaru, that broom-headed asshole! Oh yeah! I remember, Kusanagi was really mad about that. He was so mad he broke down my front door and threw my sheet music everywhere! It was really late too! Like 4am… Then he sat on my couch and started yelling about how Nikaido stalking Yuki… haha, jeez. He's so weird when he's drunk.

" _KING IS WEIRD. BAD DRINK."_

Shut up Riot. Don't tell me what to do. I drink as much as I want… I'm not crazy, okay? You're the crazy one. Oh fuck… dammit, it spilled… why are these cups so small? What kind of idiot makes cups this small?!

I smacked the cup down on the counter. It made a grating noise and I pressed it into the table. I think it cracked a little bit, but honestly it deserved it for spilling vodka on me. I hope the suit will be okay. It's actually pretty comfy. Mature really knows how to shop… Ugh my throat is burning. I'll have another shot. Maybe it'll help…

" _NO DRINK."_

A sharp pain suddenly sprouted in my hand. Bright purple flames burst out with a loud crackle. The noise scares me. It's like a gunshot. I hear it a lot, but I never quite get used to it. The shot glass begins to glow orange and deform. The rim of the glass flops over and melts on my thumb. It feels warm on my skin and drips on the dark countertop. but… I'm pretty sure I didn't ignite... why-

" _BAD DRINK CUP"_

Riot! You moron! The hell are you using fire for? Damn! It hurts! The glass is all goopy now and it's getting everywhere! Fuck!... and look! You scared football girl. What are we gonna do now? She's so pretty too, and you're gonna scare her away. Good going asshole!

"THUNDERBOY"

Thun-… Nikaido isn't even here. The only people here are me and the football guy's girlfriend, so what're you on about? Are you obsessed with him or something? You've been talking about him for a while now... Stop it! It's creepy. Turn off the fire right now or I'm putting you on probation.

"NO YOU! THUNDERBOY"

Shut the fuck up. You're cra-... Hahaha! Wait, do you like Benimaru? Are you gay or something? Okay okay, whatever ...Just go to sleep. We're gonna fight in the tournament soon, so if you want me to let you out, you'd better behave. Turn off the fire.

Jeez. Such an annoying guy. Haha, he's being all pissy. I can hear him grumbling in the back of my head. Does he have an unrequited love or something? Can Riot even… hmm... actually this might be a problem... Well I'll deal with it later.

I turn to look at football girl. She's still here. Good. Riot didn't scare her away. She looks really sad, like she's about to cry. Did Riot say something out loud without me noticing? Why is he trying to sabotage me anyways? He never cares about what I do with girls… _but she really looks familiar now. Huh… is she a musician? I know I've seen that face before…_

"-fuck?"

She was saying something, but I was too busy arguing with Riot… what does she want?

"NO FUCK"

What? She asked to fuck? No way.

"NO! NO! KING, NO FUCK!"

I thought she's together with Brand-... no… Brian? Brian something? Whatever, the football guy! Isn't he her boyfriend? Is she trying to cheat on him? I thought she was mad because I was messing with him last year! Why does she wanna-

"What are you talking about! Just answer the question, Yagami! Good God!"

Oh… wow she's really… well then, Sure! Seems a bit abrupt, but she's nice enough and she's cute... I'm down. Besides, it's not like I've got anyone else to spend the night with. I kinda want to get away from Vice and Mature. Even though I booked them in a hotel on the other side of Manhattan, they still managed to show up in my hotel room at 6AM yesterday! They dragged me around and made me carry their shopping bags for five straight hours. It was awful. I know they're gonna try to do it again if they know where I slept that ni-

"NO NO NO."

Shit Riot! Why're you trying to cockblock me? Just go to sleep and leave me alone.

"KING STUPID. STOP. THUNDERBOY!"

Say whatever you want. I'm getting laid tonight so fuck off.

* * *

 _TMW your life is so cringe, even the voice in your head can't take it._

 _Riot is the bae-ist_

 _Kyo next chapter lel._

 _FD's stands for F-aggot's D-elight. They refer to crazy options that have short expiration dates. For example, if $ABC has been bouncing around 250-270 recently, purchasing a call option with a strike price of 350 and a short time horizon will be pretty cheap b/c the probability of that happening will be really low. (Recall that the price of the stock needs to reach the strike price before you make any money). So people buy these options sorta expecting to lose. It's kind of like a lottery ticket. However, just like the lottery, occasionally you get lucky and make big gains. But generally it's not a good idea. Generally only ppl addicted to gambling buy FDs._

 _The name comes from the fact you usually lose when you're holding FD's. So, "The only reason you'd buy this option is if you love getting fked by the market." Hence the name, 'Faggot's Delight'. This isn't really an official term ofc lol. I saw it on some subreddit when trying to figure out how best to lose money._


	5. Back A Rat

_Starring: Shitty-English Kyo; Dead-Drunk Yag; wholesome Daimon; bad-logic Benny; shopping Vice+Mature; Old-man-who-can-read-maps._

 _I failed my exam by 2%. I think I'm gonna go to the beach and burn my sorrows away under the glorious CA sun. lol tanlines in October? yes please. I haven't failed an exam since fifth grade... but It's kinda poetic i guess, since this is probably the last exam i'll ever take. Anwy I cant take the exam for another month according to FINRA regs, but my sponsorship is fine, and my boss is surprisingly chill with it. So no real damage done. life still good. I got an extra month to play before I start working, so more crack for u guys._

* * *

" _Bah-cah… ba…_ Goro, give it a shot. I think it's Italian or something."

The large Japanese man took Kyo's phone from him and squinted at the small screen. They were standing in the middle of the sidewalk trying, and failing to read a map of Manhattan by lamplight. The sun was low in the sky and it was getting chilly. The exorbitant amounts of 'I LOVE NEW YORK' shirts they had purchased, and were now lugging around, offered little warmth. Kyo offered to set them both on fire, but Daimon had refused for fear of getting arrested.

He frowned at the English letters on the small screen and attempted to pronounce the venue's name. Benimaru had texted them the hotel's name and address. If they had data, they'd be using the built-in GPS, but the two Japanese natives didn't own American SIM cards. They were trying to get around the traditional way, and it was proving disastrous. They had anticipated this to some degree, so they decided to stop touring three hours ago to ensure they had plenty of time to wander about and find the party venue.

Three hours wasn't nearly enough.

They were currently forty minutes late to the KOF pre-tourney event and it was getting dark.

" _Ba-cah-lot?_ Why don't we just call Benimaru? He can send us a taxi or something."

"I tried to call him. He's not picking up. Besides, I don't really want to talk to him. I'm gonna try to ask someone… you read the map, alright?"

Daimon sighed at the letters in the text message and returned Kyo's phone. He briefly wished Benimaru had stayed with them but banished the thought. The blonde man had been flirting with Kyo non-stop ever since Team Japan met up yesterday afternoon in the JFK airport. Kyo was caught off guard by it, and was growing more and more frustrated with the man. Daimon feared their Captain would snap and attack somebody if Benimaru kept pushing him, so he had tried his best to interrupt the lewd advances. Benimaru eventually took the hint and left.

Unfortunately, the damage was already done. Daimon had followed closely behind Kyo as he hissed and stomped down the streets of New York. He needed to let off steam, and Daimon was going to try his best to make sure no civilians got hurt. If push came to shove, he would fight Kyo himself - and probably end up in the hospital with third degree burns.

It took only a few moments of inattention for Daimon to lose sight of his captain. He was looking at coffee mugs when Kyo suddenly leapt a fence and sprinted into a crowd of people. There, he found his grumpy, shopping-bag-laden rival, and convinced him that this was an appropriate time to fight.

 _I'm glad we found Yagami… otherwise Kyo might've burned down a building…_

They put on quite the fireshow for the spectators, evaporated all the water in one of the city fountains, and Iori screeched like a banshee for ten straight minutes. They both had mild concussions by the time they finished punching each other silly. Kyo was decidedly happier with his anger spent and his brain rattled. Iori still looked angry as ever, but seemed to appreciate a diversion from shopping with Vice and Mature. The best news was New York and its citizens were no longer in danger of the world's most capable arsonists. All in all, the confrontation had been beneficial to everyone. It was a good fight, and Daimon was truly thankful he didn't have to fight it.

 _I'm glad they're friends again. Kusanagi's even tempered, but when he gets going… haah_

Daimon was shocked by how cordial they seemed to be… well _comparatively_ cordial. They still mostly referred to each other via explicatives and their conversation sounded a lot like the snapping of feral dogs. However, just last year, they would have killed each other. But this year, the fight ended with the pair of bruised and woozy rivals angrily arguing over which pizzaria was best. Unfortunately, Vice and Mature emerged from a department store and dragged their disappointed team captain away before lunch consensus could be reached.

A businessperson bumped into Daimon, before briefly apologizing and hurrying on his way. The two of them were blocking the flow of human traffic, well, mostly Daimon. Kyo had wandered off to harass the population of New York with his _less-than-stellar_ English. So far, nobody had understood a word he said. They were lucky the city numbered its streets. They were able to find 59th without issue. Problem was, they had walked several miles along the road without finding the hotel. Did they walk past it already?

Kyo had insisted they hadn't. Iori was already there and Kyo always knew when his rival was nearby. He called it his ' _Idiot Team Radar'. It also finds Leona, but she's in, like, Saudi Arabia right now. Besides, if we end of finding her we can ask her for directions! Let's keep going.'_

" _Herro! Hah ahr you?_

An old man smoking a cigar flinched at the badly pronounced greeting.

" _Whear… Ba-... Ba-car-cat? Bah-cat… rat?"_

" _The what?"_

Daimon guessed the ' _radar'_ had something to do with Orochi blood, but didn't press his team captain for details. Besides, they had a much bigger problem on their hands. It was getting late and they were promised a five-star meal at the pre-tournament event - granted they arrived on time. He squinted at the map, recognized nothing, then turned it upside down. That didn't help either.

" _Ba… Baccarat? The Baccarat? You mean the hotel?_

" _Bacabat. Yes. Okay_."

" _Do you have an address? Ad-dress? ...On your phone? Let me look at it… hey! I won't steal it."_

" _Yes."_

" _Alright, this is 59th street, you're looking for the cross street 3rd avenue. It's that way, appro-..."_

* * *

The scene had drawn many sets of eyes. Many were mirthful gazes belonging to KOF contestants. A few heads were peeking into the bar from the main lobby. The unhappy Bartender shooed them away, demanding they either buy drinks or leave.

Benimaru didn't know how to feel about it. He liked attention and he liked drama, but he was frozen, gripping the armrests of his seat as Iori Yagami cradled his head and murmured three languages at once into the shell of his ear.

Benimaru would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying it, but he'd also be lying if he said he wasn't scared shitless. Iori was unhinged, dangerous, and very, very drunk. If Benimaru did something unexpected, would Iori freak out and roast him alive? Or slice through him like butter? Was his electricity enough to knock him out in case something bad happened? During last year's tournament, Iori had been struck with the full force of Benimaru's lightning and still managed to get up and win the round. Of course Kyo beat him into the arena floor shortly afterwards, but this time, Kyo wasn't around to rescue him.

Of course, he still wasn't sure if he wanted to be rescued. He clung to the armrests and stared straight ahead.

Iori laid his head down on Benimaru's shoulder and pressed his mouth against his neck. Benimaru could feel the moist heat of his breath and his teeth moving against his skin. Iori hadn't yet stopped talking to himself. The phrases were seemingly random and not directed toward anyone in particular. Perhaps he was just enjoying the sound of his own voice? Because Benimaru sure was. It was deep and carried a unique accent. Every vowel had an underlying growl which reverberated from deep in his chest and against Benimaru's skin. Deadly claws gently stroked through his hair and caused his scalp to tingle. _Oh goddammit Benny! What if Kyo finds out!_

"Hehe… _pendejo_ 's finally here… orange… shut up…Riot!... Battler?"

Benimaru noticed he was no longer clinging to the armrests. One hand was placed on the back of Iori's head and threaded its fingers through strands of red hair. The other was wrapped around Iori's rather narrow waist and-

"Stu-pid … took him long enough… dinner?"

 _Huh?_

"Hey, Yagami."

Benimaru took care to speak gently. Whenever Iori got startled, he usually set himself on fire and started screaming. Not only would it be embarrassing, but Benimaru might not live through it.

"Hmm?"

"Who are you talking about?"

Iori stopped murmuring as he processed the request. He dipped his head and pressed the bridge of his nose against Benimaru's throat. Eyelashes tickled his skin as he furrowed his brow and tried to get the name out. _Ahhh… dammit Benny…_

"Kusa...gi… Kusan… "

Benimaru flinched. Kyo was here? What was he going to think if he saw this! Was Iori only after him to make him seem unfaithful? Like he had tried to do earlier that year to Yuki? _He's using my strategy! He's trying to get rid of me completely! How-_

Iori grunted and pointed at the wall of the bar, then slowly dragged his finger through the air in the direction of the bar's entrance. Benimaru watched his team captain's approach with growing horror.

"He's… he... there… a-aAH?!"

Iori stiffened as electricity coursed through him. He hit the floor with a hearty thud and bits of glass dug into his back. He set himself alight and began wailing, but Benimaru was too busy sprinting for the bar's back exit to pay him any attention.

* * *

 _run Forrest!_

 _no more gay stuff okay? from now on, we only make homophobic jokes._

 _Buy $TSLA bois. meme stock of the year!_


	6. Save the Contest!

_Vice is up in here ruining stuff._

* * *

The table was silent.

The jazz that flowed over from the main lobby fell on deaf ears.

Four men and one woman were sitting in a semi-circular booth. The dark red leather seats extended upwards, creating a partially enclosed enclave. The air smelled of liquor, tension and sweat. Yellow lights shone down on the polished mahogany and brightly illuminated the hands clasped in the center of the table.

 _How the hell?!_

"C'mon Brian! We're all riding on this!"

"You got this man!"

Brian Battler had shed his blazer to grip the woman's small hand in his own. Only the tips of her painted nails could be seen poking out from between his thumb and knuckle. The petite woman grinned unpleasantly at him, her bright red lips pulled back into an exaggerated sneer. He grimaced back at her, sweat beading on his brow.

 _This is a joke?… this is impossible… How is she so strong!_

Team Yagami's Vice was seated directly across from the footballer, their hands clasped in a contest of strength. She was relaxed and didn't seem to have any difficulty matching him. No matter how hard he pushed, she couldn't be moved. There was no way her thin arms could generate this kind of strength, but Terry had checked everything to makes sure there was no cheating.

 _Somebody's pranking me… this is ridiculous. Is she a robot or something?_

Meanwhile, Brian was almost panting with exertion. He felt his muscles burn and his joints complain. He felt like he was pushing against a building. Still, Vice showed no signs of budging. She showed no signs of effort either. He was starting to feel despair. The three spectators the table looking worryingly back and forth between the arm-wrestlers.

"Wanna give up, big boy? Y'ain't gettin' anywhere!"

Vice's tone was mocking. She had a Portuguese accent, but used American slang profusely. She was making a show of Brian and he knew it. She was leaned over the table, spilling her cleavage beside her planted elbow. The sneer on her face was nothing compared to the sneer in her eyes. She had a crazy look about her. Her pupils seemed just a bit too small, and her scleras seemed just a bit too white. Even when the top of her head could fit comfortably beneath his armpit, Brian still felt like she was looking down at him.

"Like hell!... I'm gonna beat you, lady! So, shut up."

His voice came out as a strained grunt. His face twisted with effort. Vice laughed at him.

"Then hurry up and do it! That's what Bogard said just a minute ago! Now look at him!"

Brian gritted his teeth and kept his eyes trained on their hands. Beside him, Joe Hisagashi muttered some encouragement to Terry, who was rubbing his sore forearms. Heavy D was sitting next to Vice and stared incredulously at the petite woman.

This was the fourth year of the 'King of Arm-Wrestling' Tournament. Terry and Joe had started it as a sort of men's club. Nearly all of the male KOF contestants had participated at least once or twice. Here, there were no strange powers or techniques allowed. It was a contest of pure muscle and concentration. It was an arena where relatively normal contestants could beat the likes of K' or Kyo Kusanagi.

Matches were typically a grueling struggle between two strongmen…

Until last year when Vice decided to participate.

It was uncanny how easily she beat people twice her size. She easily won against every single contestant up until the quarter-finals, but forfeited to tend to her Team Captain after Mature dragged him in from another ' _fight to the death'_ with Kyo Kusanagi.

She hadn't _ruined_ the competition. She had followed all the rules, after all…

But she had ruined the competition.

Who wanted to join a strength contest where you'd be beaten by a thin, five-foot-five woman with a pixie cut? If you lost, you looked bad. If you won, you looked worse. Vice had single-handedly slaughtered the 'King of Arm Wrestling' tournament.

But Terry was intent on reviving it.

She had agreed to never participate again, given somebody could beat her in a one-vs-one match. Terry had accepted her challenge and went about collected all the champions from previous years' 'King of Arm-wrestling' Tournaments. They were now fighting for their right to a Vice-free competition.

Something popped loudly in Brian's right knuckle. Everyone stared at his hand, then at his face. Vice began laughing loudly.

"Ohh noo, is the big boy breakin'? Just give up Battler-... _Yagami?_ "

She broke off into Japanese and turned her head to talk to somebody who had approached the table. They chattered in the background, but Brian didn't understand a word they said. He kept his eyes trained on his fist. He was going to win. No matter what.

" _Kusanagi you Bastard!"_

" _I just found him like this! I swear I didn't do anything."_

" _What? Like hell I believe you! I'll break your arms!"_

" _I'm serious! He's just really drunk. Look!"_

" _..."_

" _..."_

" _...Fine. Put him down."_

Brian flinched as he felt somebody sit down beside him. He turned briefly to look and caught a flash of red hair-

 _Oh Shit... Lory?_

Iori Yagami's teeth were chattering rapidly, the sound cut his words with a rapid staccato beat. The effect made whatever he was saying completely indecipherable, and extremely unsettling. Kyo sat him down, patted him on the shoulder and waltzed off to find the dining room. He gave Brian a double thumbs up and a wide grin before he left.

"T-t-t-t-aser... girl-l-l-friend… "

 _Dammit! Not this guy again! Last year was bad enough. I gotta leav-... fuck..._

The red haired man rapidly attached himself to Brian's arm and began chewing on his sleeve. Brian was still locked in contest with Vice and was unable to escape before Iori caught hold of him. The men at the table stared for a second before they started laughing. Vice didn't seem phased by her captain's strange behavior and ignored him.

"Aww, he likes you Battler. Invite me to the wedding!"

"Shut up… Bogard… "

"Ready ta' lose, big boy?"

"M-m-m-miss…footb-b-ball… h-h-hehehe... Haha-ha-ha"

* * *

 _BrianxIori best pairing. if you disagree you're wrong._

 _I think epiloge next. We finish with benny,_

 _Stocks are fake and gay. Today was armegeddon._


	7. Malicious Compliance

_We dunzo boise._

 _Mature ruining stuff this time lol._

* * *

The full moon shone brightly in the sky above. The rainclouds from earlier in the afternoon had dispersed, clearing the night sky. The air was cold and wet, but not wet enough to be uncomfortable.

Two sets of footsteps clacked rhythmically on Manhattan's sidewalk pavement. Heels.

There was a metallic sounding thunk.

"..."

"Oh dear, try your best not to kill him. Won't you? Poor boy's had a rough night."

"He's fine, sah..."

Mature dropped her bags and calmly watched the party which trailed her. It was 1:00 AM, and they were headed back to the hotel. Mature's arms were beginning to ache from all the shopping she had to carry. She hadn't anticipated having to personally lug it around. Usually Iori or Vice were willing to carry stuff for her. However, both were occupied at the moment.

"Well then, let's be on our way! Chop-chop now! I need a hot shower."

Vice grunted an acknowledgement as she lowered her team Captain to the ground and shook him awake. Until a moment ago, Iori had been soundly unconscious in Vice's arms. She had walked his head into a lamppole and was checking to see if the impact had killed him. It hadn't. He woke up and began chattering something before Vice pinched him in the neck and he passed out.

Mature blinked at her.

"... is that safe?"

"Ha? 'Course it's safe. I'ma doctor, remember?"

"Yes, yes, of course. Please never do it to me."

The short-haired woman rolled her eyes and picked her patient up. It was a truly bizarre sight - one which seemed to defy physics. Iori looked to be nearly twice her size, but Vice carried him as if he were made of styrofoam. She nodded and strode past her blonde companion. Mature heaved up her shopping bags with considerable effort, and followed.

It had been a rather short night of merrymaking for the three of them.

Vice had spent much of her time in some dark corner arm-wrestling sweaty men. She had gone on for a bit about how she was ruining their arm wrestling tournament, _yadda yadda._ Mature honestly couldn't fathom why she even bothered. It was child's play. Of course she would win! She had strength granted by Orochi! Well, Vice had always been a bit of a sadist. She was probably just getting her kicks from crushing some arm-wrestling-spirits.

Iori had spent most of the evening insane. He had gotten fantastically drunk on a quarter bottle of vodka and immediately set about making an ass of himself. Eyewitnesses reported he had frenched Benimaru, got electrocuted, then lay on the ground, on-fire and screaming for a full minute. Nobody dared approach him for fear of the heat. He melted himself six inches into the marble floor before Kusanagi found him, kicked him until he extinguished, and dragged him away. He got dropped off at Vice's arm wrestling corner where he _consumed_ most of Brian Battler's dress shirt before falling asleep.

 _Was the poor boy that hungry? Ah, I feel bad not letting him go eat pizza this afternoon…_

Mature had swiped her captain's credit card more times she could remember and arrived, exhausted, at the party with nearly forty pounds of designer clothes. The only reason she even showed up was to display her finds to Benimaru. The man had a sharp fashion sense and Mature greatly appreciated his input. She was less than happy to hear Iori had scared him away.

"Mature! Where're you off 'ta?"

Mature flinched, realizing she had walked past the hotel entrance. She hurriedly turned around and rushed inside. She needed a bubble bath and a massage… _I wonder if the spa is still open._

* * *

*Brrrr*

*Brrrr*

*Chk*

* _Benny! Dear! Why weren't you at the party!? I found something amazing at Louis Vitton and I re-_ *

Benimaru was adding the finishing touches to his Honey and Tumeric facial mask when he decided to call Mature. He had just had himself a three hour cry, and was feeling better. Well, he wasn't feeling _good_ by any means, but he was at least coherent enough to try and investigate his problem.

"Sorry Mature, there was drama. I'm getting so torn up about it that I swear I'm getting wrinkles as we speak! Anyways, you know that thing going on between me and Kusanagi?"

* _Oh dear, that thing? I'm sorry to break it to you babe, but from my perspective it seems quite one-sided. I'm telling you because I care._ *

"Oh, Don't worry about that. Kyo will come around… I'm more concerned about your team captain..."

* _Aww do you like him? It was such a pain getting him dressed up. I put mascara on him, did you notice? I tried to paint his nails too but he roasted the paint off-_ *

"I'm serious, please just listen. How far has Yagami and Kyo's relationship gone? Like, what stage?"

 _*... what do you mean, what stage? Recently they stopped trying to kill each other… Is that what you mean?*_

"Please don't hide anything from me. I know Yagami's gay for him, alright? I just need to know if they're fucking yet."

 _*...*_

 _*...*_

 _*Oh! So you already know? Well then, I won't say much, but during the party our Captains spent the entire time together… I think they even left together!*_

"Are… Mature! Are you serious? You saw them leave together?"

 _*Yup. I watched Kusanagi carry him out the back entrance. I'm in the hotel right now, but Yagami's not here. He's probably spending the night at... Well, wherever they are. Of course they COULD just be hanging out... But Iori's not picking up the phone... sorry to be the bearer of bad news, babe.*_

"... ah… thanks Mature. I… uh… "

 _*Oh, Benny. They're plenty of fish in the sea! Just look around you, not all's lost okay? Chin up now!*_

"I-I'll do my best… bye-"

*Click*

Benimaru stared flatly at his cellphone. A quick glance in the mirror told him his facial mask had cracked from his frowning. He decided the best course of action was to have himself another cry.

* * *

 _Gravedigger makes a bit more sense. Still not much, lol whatever._

 _Mature is lying for keks. Iori's unconscious somewhere._

In case you were wondering, There's a bit of a series going on, which is now completed (out of order, mind you)

1- Garbage

2- FDs

3- Gravedigger.

There is an error in continuity between FD and Gravedigger concerning Terry Bogard. In Gravedigger, Terry has just taken the red-eye(overnight flight) up from florida to NY. but in FDs he's actually already in NY and took an earlier flight... so, uh can you ignore that? thanks.

 _Also I decided I want Vice to be a doctor. she kinda has that crazy surgeon look about her. Mature taught Yag how to makeup, Vice taught him how to first aid. I meantioned it before in Skeletons when Yag is sewing himself up and goes 'dam i wish Vice were here to do this for me'_

 _Kbye._

 _w8, leave me a review. then you can go._


End file.
